Dealing with attention seekers

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others.

Hmmm know anybody like this?

Examples of attention whores/seekers (celebs and random people)

 

They are annoying, they brag, they talk a lot about meaningless crap, they stretch the truth/lie all for attention to hide their insecurities.

To understand how to deal with these types we will compare them to a dog barking for attention and a baby crying for attention.

Reason for Barking: Attention-Getting
When an owner deliberately spoils a dog or unintentionally rewards him for barking, the dog quickly learns how to get attention. For example, a dog barks because he is startled, and the owner reaches down and pets the dog to assure him that all is well. The dog perceives the petting and consoling as a reward for barking. Thus he barks whenever he wants attention.
(People give the seekers attention, thus making them continue doing what they do)
Attention-getting barking can be corrected, provided that the owner is determined to unspoil the dog. Let's create a fictitious scenario and the solution to the problem it produces. This problem is common to small dogs and their owners.
(Don't give attention for the negative actions!)

As a puppy, the dog frequently barked and jumped up on the owner to get the owners attention. The owner would bend down and pick up the puppy. Soon the puppy learned that whenever he wanted the owners attention, all he had to do was bark and jump up on his owner.

(negative action, positive reaction?!)

Well, by the time the puppy reaches adulthood, the habit has been formed and the dog constantly demands that his owner pick him up and carry him around. The owner finds this annoying, yet he loves the little dog, so he hesitates to reprimand him. Instead the owner tries yelling at the dog, but to no avail. The dog continues to jump and the owner continues to try various tactics to correct the problem, yet nothing positive comes of the owners attempts.

(once the habit has formed, yelling or scolding won't work!)

The solution to this problem is to let the dog know that it's fine to ask for attention, but in an acceptable manner. The dog must learn that, as with most things in life, there is a price to pay for that attention. Instead of immediately responding to the dogs request that he be picked up, the owner now has the dog do something to earn his attention. Once the dog begins to realize that attention is no longer free, he can be trained to remain on the floor and accept attention from there rather than from the owners arms.

(It's OK to want attention, but it must be earned first)

If you experience a similar problem, teach the dog to sit on command. Then, when he comes to you and demands your attention, have him sit before you respond to him. When he obeys the sit command, you can give him some attention. At first, you can pick him up, pet and praise him briefly and then return him to the floor. If he barks and jumps on you again, have him sit again. Follow his sit with praise again, but this time don't pick him up. Instead, bend down and pet him as he sits in front of you.

(Let him know you are in control, he will get attention when he earns it)   

Soon the dog will learn that he must do something before he will receive your attention. In other words, ignoring behavior you don't want and recognizing behavior you do want will produce positive results. Responding to behavior you don't want is perceived by the dog as acceptance, and he'll continue to do it forever. However, when he learns that you'll only recognize him for good behavior, he'll exercise that good behavior in order to receive your attention.

(Ignore his desperate cries for attention, recognize behavior you do like)

"Mommy, come here and see my picture."
"It's very nice, Sarah."
"I can't find the blue crayon."
"It's right here."
"I can't find the green one."
"Here it is."
"I don't want to color. I want to paint."
"I'll get your paint set."
"Will you paint this flower for me, Mommy?" It's normal for children to need attention and approval. However, attention-seeking becomes a problem when it happens all the time. Even charming attention-seeking can become controlling. Many children make tragedies out of trivial concerns to get your sympathy. Excessive attention-seeking results in a situation where your child commands your life.
Many children misbehave to get attention. The most notorious reason for misbehavior in young children, this can be the seed for discipline problems in later childhood and adolescence.

Your goal is not to eliminate your child's need for attention and approval. When handled correctly, your child's need for attention can be a helpful tool for improving your child's behavior. Eliminate not the need for attention, but those attention- seeking behaviors that are excessive or unacceptable. A mother who says, "Sarah, I know that you want me to stay and paint with you. I am busy now. If you can be patient and paint by yourself for ten minutes, I'll be able to spend some time with you then," is giving Sarah an opportunity to have the attention that she wants and needs. She is not giving in to nagging.

 

Do not let your children's need for attention turn into demands for attention. When children do not get enough attention, they resort to outbursts, tantrums, nagging, teasing, and other annoying behaviors. They think, "If I can't get attention by being good, then I'll misbehave to get Mom's attention."