Healthy Mourning

  In 6th grade, a girl two grades older from me died from taking ecstasy. During school we heard the announcement, my friends and I mourned. Her sister was in my grade, we were in the same gym class, we talked a couple times and were both slackers when we would run laps. I could feel her pain. It reminded me of when we almost lost my brother to a stroke.
  That feeling was lost when I came home. My mom blamed the girl for her own death and was upset about all of the sympathy and attention she was getting. There was media coverage and a candle light ceremony. My mom was disgusted, "They shouldn't be honoring a girl who died from drugs." I wanted to go to the ceremony, I don't know why exactly.. my friends were going and they seemed to really want to, I felt like I should as well.  On the news, they interviewed my friend who talked about how nice Irma was and that she was a good friend. I will I always remember this, my mom saying "Yea right! She probably didn't even know her, she just wants to be on T.V!" I believed my mom. My mom would mock anybody who showed sympathy. "'Oh, She was my best friend!' -yea, now that she's dead you can say that." I will always remember it.
  I looked at her death with disgust and anger. She doesn't deserve positive attention. Back at school, I remember saying something like: Now everyone's going want to be (her sister)'s friend. I was mad at her, everyone was being nice to her, I thought their kindness was fake. But deep down I wished I could feel what they were feeling. I wanted to mourn with them, I wanted to share the emotion that the rest of my school was feeling, but I didn't.

I wanted to write this to finally let out the loss I truly felt. I didn't know her, but she was part of my community. Few people in my life have died. When I think of death I reflect on the loss of this girl, all the emotions, good or bad. The fact that death affects everyone in some way. When I now look at her picture, rather then thinking of my mom's words, I feel pure sympathy and loss. She is a sister who is missed. May her spirit live on through the lives she has touched.